If you've made it this deep into our website you probably already know that this week I made the really scary/nauseating/painful decision to temporarily close the shop. As I write this, it's Wednesday evening and this is very new. Actually, it's 6:41pm and I'm still at work because it hasn't really hit me yet that I can leave at a normal time because there's no shop to close. I haven't even posted on social media about it yet because I'm afraid of what will happen. When I opened this shop just over two years ago we were getting TONS of press. We were new and people didn't 100% get it yet. The worst part is that a lot of these people were sure that we would fail. I had to learn not to ever read the comments. That's where the worst of the internet trolls live and it's a place that made be feel like everyone was just waiting for the wave of excitement to end so we would go out of business and prove them right.
The thing is, that we're DEFINITELY not going out of business but it kind of feels that way. We'll all still come to work everyday and we'll still do the things that we do. We'll even have time for other improvements and projects that we haven't had time for before. But it still feels like an arrow has punctured my heart and I can't get it out. We're in New York City--which is an amazing, alive place that can make crazy businesses like mine happen, but also one that can kill them in a second. It's not easy to have a business in a place where people expect the world but the world is always throwing little hurdles in the way. I'd never want to be anywhere else, but all of this has taught me that to stay here I have to fight for my business. That it's not going to always be amazing press and endless praise. There will be evil landlords, environmental problems, plant thieves, horrible skeptics and a very real potential for failure.
I don't feel like I've failed. I just feel like this city has let me down a little bit. Maybe there's a metaphor to be found somewhere in the mold that's festering, hidden in my beautiful shop. I've prepared the Instagram, all I have to do is press "SHARE" and it's out there. I'll probably then turn my phone off until tomorrow morning so I don't have to be reminded of it.
I now know a lot of things that I didn't know two years and I know that I'll figure it out and that even if we re-locate it'll be easier to re-open than it was to open in the first place. I know that tons of people will show up on that day to show their support. I know that I'll have other business and that they'll probably be mostly successful, even if it's hard and even if I sometimes feels like I've failed.
For now, I'll sit here until exactly 7pm and I'll hold my breath and press "SHARE".